This fight should be over now. Lup's words should sink in and he should feel ashamed of himself for ever doubting her, for ever thinking she'd go behind his back and fool around with someone else. He should be in tears, apologizing, begging for Lup's understanding, for forgiveness of his blatantly false accusations.
But Barry watches her step closer, not flinching as she scowls at him, and he can't shake the feeling that she's still lying to him. That Lup hangs out with Lucretia so much because they're fooling around, because she enjoys her company more than Barry's. He can't imagine any other scenario than the two of them alone, making out, fucking, laughing about her fat, stupid, trusting husband waiting for her at home with no idea. Just the thought of Lup spending time with anyone but him makes his vision blur at the corners, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest, but Lucretia being the one makes everything so much worse.
Lup is incredible. She's sharp and gorgeous and intensely likeable. She could have literally anyone she wants. And right now, for some reason, it feels like she has.]
How can I know that for sure, huh? You're always over there, always spendin' time with her. Don't tell me y'haven't thought about fuckin' her, 'cause I know that's a fuckin' lie. [He doesn't budge, watching her reactions and movements too close for comfort.] Is that why y'were home late, huh? Couldn't find where y'left your pants?
[At first, Lup's only reaction is a sharp intake of breath through her teeth, hurt blossoming in her chest just painful enough to reflect in the look she's narrowing at him.
Barry doesn't believe her. Doesn't trust her. It's one thing for him to get a little suspicious, to question her, but it's another entirely for Lup to tell him one thing and for him to disregard her words completely. Barry's never done that before, he's always taken her word over his own insecure feelings and intrusive thoughts. Always put his faith in the woman he loves because Lup's never given him a reason to think she'd lie. She may fudge the truth a little on small, non-consequential things, but she's never once stared Barry in the face and lied to him.
And now she's being treated like their half a century together means nothing.
But there's more. Beyond just insinuating she's lying, Barry throws Lucretia in her face and the woman's mouth falls open in quiet shock. The accusation of lying to him hurts, but this feels like she's been stabbed in the back by the person she trusted most. Because he knows Lup can't deny any attraction to the other woman because she's told Barry about it pointedly in the past. And now it seems her complete honesty with him is a punishable offense. He trusts more in his own damn delusions than his own wife looking him in the eye and denying it.
This kind of betrayal rips at Lup's heart, makes her feel weak and vulnerable and more scared than she'd like to admit. When she speaks, it isn't with the usual bluster she has during fights. It's low and firm and cold.]
Fuck off.
[And Barry may have the weight advantage, but Lup slams into him anyway, attempting to shoulder check him on her way further into the house, wanting to just move past him and lock herself in her and Taako's room for awhile.]
[Nothing she could've said or done would have made him more suspicious than this. Lup flat-out refuses to explain herself, to defend herself, just coldly brushes him off and shoulders roughly past him, storming away from him. It doesn't register to Barry that he's being cruel, unreasonable, completely unfair. It doesn't register that Lup is hurting and it's unequivocally his fault. The only thing that sticks is that Lup is fleeing, not even bothering with an explanation.
Barry's heart drops right through his stomach then, leaving his chest feeling hollow, an aching void. He can't believe this is happening to him. Over half a century together, and he'd never thought Lup could do something like this to him. He can feel his pulse picking up, his eyes prickling with tears, which in turn only makes him more furious. He's been nothing but loving and supportive towards her... and she's throwing that all away for something on the side?
Lup gets past him, making it a couple steps towards the stairs before Barry whirls around, striding after her and grabbing her arm.]
Don't walk away from me! I trusted you, Lup! I-- I trusted you, I love you, I-I don't understand why you'd do this. [His grip on her arm tightens as he tries to pull her closer, his eyes frantic, every line on his face tense with rage and fear.] What did I do? Am I not good enough for you? I don't understand!
[It takes all of the woman's restraint, but somehow she doesn't completely just shove Barry away from her when he grabs for her arm. If it was anyone else, Lup would fight, would set herself aflame, anything to break free and just go. But even with these accusations burning in her gut, this is still Barry. Still the man she's loved for nearly a century. The man she's faced down the end of the world with a hundred times over.
The tears prickling at his eyes when she turns back to him are proof enough of that, even if the rage twisting in his expression is so foreign to her.]
I can't believe you even have to ask. No! I'm not--[just saying it makes Lup's mouth curl in anger, ears flattening as Barry's grip tightens against her arm. She gives it a tug away from him.] I'm not sleeping around behind your back! You're losin' your damn mind.
[The obvious reason for his emotional state doesn't even occur to Lup while she stares him down, sharp eyes trailing along the fear and anger mixed into every line of his face. Something is horribly wrong, but the gods in Hadriel have never played a game like this with her before. They've manipulated what she's seen, but never what she's felt to this extent. It's always been smaller, more subtle things before this.] What d'you want? A friggin' pinky promise I'm not gettin' some on the side? Will that convince you?
[As for Barry, he's too caught up in the whirlwind of emotions racing through him to realize they're not even his own. He hasn't been in Hadriel long enough to really know what the gods are capable of, to really grasp how thoroughly they can mess with your emotional state. It's only been things that messed with his perception. Strange dreamstates he can distance himself from.
But this? This feels real. This feels immediate and true and Barry is desperate to understand what's happening.
Lup tugs her arm in his grip, fighting his hold, and while it loosens a little, he doesn't let her go. She seems angry. Either defensive or offended. It's distressing that Barry can't tell which it is.] I-- I want to believe you, Lup. I love you so much, you know that, right? Y-You're the most important person in my life, I-- I can't lose you.
[The desperation on his face is plainly obvious, eyes glassy with tears and wild as he searches her angry face for any kind of clue, any sign to tell him his fears are unfounded. She can't be cheating on him, she can't, but his gut is screaming that she has to be.] I got scared. I didn't hear from you and-- a-and I know you're close to Lucretia, so I... I freaked. I can't lose you, Lup, th-the thought of losin' you drives me crazy, I...
[Barry's shaking and scared, the rage that had been fueling him suddenly just gone. Now he's left looking frightened up at her, eyes glossy and wet, which tugs right at the elf's heartstrings so much more effectively than his anger ever could. Lup gaze back at him is hard, sharpened by her hurt, but after a few moments of intense staring, the woman's letting loose a sigh. The sound is full of tiredness and exasperation, but not nearly as pissed as she'd been.
The hand curled around her arm is trembling in desperation, like Barry might vibrate right out of his skin if she can't give him the exact words he needs to hear. Lup lifts her free hand to rest over his shaking hand.]
Bar, I promise you. I'd never fuck around behind your back. That's not me. [Lup may be rude and abrasive and more than often just wrong, but she's honest. She couldn't look into his eyes and lie to him, especially not this.] You've... You gotta put more faith in me. We've been through too much for you to freak out on me like that.
[There's something about the phrase 'the thought of losin' you drives me crazy' that doesn't sit well with Lup, that curls around her chest and tightens uncomfortably there, but she's too relieved that this conversation is turning around to put more thought into it.]
[He doesn't answer that immediately. Does he trust her? Honestly, he doesn't know anymore. It's-- It's her fault, right, she should've known that hanging out with Lucretia so much was going to set him off. She should've known, and she went and did it anyway, eating at his trust, his patience. Lup belongs to him (belongs, when has he ever thought that), she shouldn't go running off like that with anyone but him (yes she can, she's a grown woman, her own person, he-- he doesn't own her), she should know her place is right here, right by his side (what's happening to him).
Barry takes a deep, trembling breath, his pulse still going wild, the hand not gripping her arm a little too tight for comfort reaching up to cover hers.] I... I trust you. I trust you, Lup. [He's still angry, furious that she'd done this, that she'd even considered spending the night with someone other than him - cheating or otherwise, he just can't tolerate her doing that. But it's fading, the flush of rage coloring his cheeks draining away, replaced with a cold, pale exhaustion. Barry's never angry like this. Never. He doesn't know how to handle it.]
I-I believe you... I just freaked out, I didn't know where y'were, what y'were doin', wh-who you were with, I-- I was so scared. I love you, Lup. You know that, don't you? [And even though he's calming down, the fury in his voice abating, leaving him hoarse and shaky, Barry's hands still tighten a little around her arm, against her fingers, letting her know he's still not okay with what happened today:]
[His bigger hand covers her own, as familiar and warm as ever, and Lup manages the smallest of smiles his way when Barry confirms that yes, of course he trusts her. There, see? Everything's already slipping back into how it should be. Whatever all of that was, it's over and done. Barry's gotten that unsettling burst of jealousy out of his system and everything is just going to fall right back into place like always for the two of them.
Now that the tension between them has dipped down, Barry looks so absolutely exhausted in front of Lup, pale and still trembling. He just needs to rest, clearly it's missed Lup's notice just how overworked the man must be. He's been in and out of the lab more often lately, working towards answers that no one else in Hadriel has been able to find. After a good, long nap he'll be back to his normal self, likely tearful and apologizing for this undeserving outburst, begging for her forgiveness.
They'll spend tomorrow together, making up for this whole thing. They're going to be just fine.
But just as Lup's about to slip out of his grip to take his hand and guide him upstairs for that nap, Barry's fingers tighten around her arm again, that deep exhaustion of his falling aside just briefly.]
...Right. [Giving into demands isn't exactly her thing, but Lup's convinced her husband is just feeling extra cranky and needs to rest. When he wakes up, there won't be anything left to hash out. It'll all be out of his system and he'll go back to trusting in her just as he always has.
Lup gives another pull of her arm out of his grasp.] C'mon, Bar. Let's go upstairs.
[Overworked... Of course. That must be it. Barry's such a hard worker, pouring over notes every day, wringing his brain for answers, hitting dead ends over and over. No wonder he's tired and cranky and frustrated. Anyone would be, right?
Funny how he hasn't apologized yet.
Barry sighs deeply, nodding as Lup complies, seemingly content, his hand finally letting go of Lup's arm as she pulls it away. She won't do that again. She'll listen from now on, stay at home with him. Good. That should be enough to ease his anxiety, his racing mind, knowing she's not going to stray. He'll have to keep watch, of course. But that's for later. For now, he takes Lup's hand in his, gently, letting her lead him towards the stairs.]
Yeah, let's... Yeah. Upstairs. [He squeezes her hand a little.] Uh... How'd y'feel about havin' like... a date-day tomorrow? Just... Just an us-day. Make some dinner, hang out... [Spend the whole day together, know where she is at all times...] It's been a while.
[It's Barry. The tearful apologies will come. She just knows it.
Barry finally lets her slip away before taking her hand, Lup's gaze stuck on his face again, watching him intently before she's finally tearing her gaze away to lead him up the stairs. It's exactly what she'd been planning, exactly what the two of them need. But how come it feels so off when the words come out of Barry's mouth? Like it's so much less about them spending time together and so much more about some hidden ulterior motive?
She just can't shake the feeling that this all goes so much deeper than she knows. What's with this sudden paranoia?]
Sure. [The house is impossibly quiet, as Lup leads Barry up to the second floor, past Taako and Lup and Angus' rooms, heading up to the third. Maybe it's just the quiet in the house that's throwing everything off. It's never been this calm since her arrival eight months earlier. It feels weird.] Could be fun. We've got the whole place to ourselves. We can sleep in. Get our cuddle on.
[Of course. The house is so quiet. That must be it. Barry is just overworked and freaked out that half their housemates have run off into the desert. The whole Magnus thing, Taako and Lucretia still fighting, it's... it's all just too much for him.
Sure. Sure, that's it.
Lup's plan sounds very nice. Sleeping in, cuddling, Barry would like to do both right now, all night, all of tomorrow, the whole week ahead of them. Just keeping her in his arms, safe in the knowledge that she's where she's supposed to be.]
That sounds nice. Just... [He sighs deeply, something almost like a smile curling at his lips as they trek towards his room. Saying this out loud feels so good, better than it ever has, like something important slotting into place and making everything right with the world:] Just the two of us.
[The worry lingers, Lup wouldn't be able to just push that completely aside after the sheer intensity of his outburst, but that hint of a smile on Barry's lips seems to be enough. It's the most she can ask for right now.
Tomorrow will be better.
Lup's just gonna drag Barry along to their shared room and try to get him into bed, maybe throw together some comfort food to help drag him out of this weird mood.] Sure thing. The boys are out playin', so you get me all to yourself for a few days.
[Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be amazing. Some R&R with his favorite person, right where she's supposed to be, at his side.
Barry follows her to their room, inhaling deeply, breathing in the scent of the two of them. They smell so good together... They smell right. Lup really makes him a better person. No wonder he blew up in her absence. No wonder he'd gone all crazy without her.]
Yeah... I like th'sound of that. We, uh... We can be here playin'.
[Anger is weird. Barry feels almost a little punch-drunk, a little loopy and silly. Even though he'd yelled and been ready for a fight, all Barry can think of right now is how much he wants to kiss her. How much he wants to pull her into bed with him.]
Hey... c'mere. [He tugs at her hand, leading her to their bed.] Come stay with me a bit...
[Barry tugs at her hand, suggesting she come to bed with him, the whole of his sudden and intense anger just gone. Nothing about this is right, Lup's gut tells her as much, but she so desperately wants to believe they'll both wake up tomorrow and everything will be right back to normal between them.]
Alright, you goobus. [And she lets herself be tugged, following after Barry easily. Tomorrow will be better.] Just lay back and chill, I won't go anywhere.
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This fight should be over now. Lup's words should sink in and he should feel ashamed of himself for ever doubting her, for ever thinking she'd go behind his back and fool around with someone else. He should be in tears, apologizing, begging for Lup's understanding, for forgiveness of his blatantly false accusations.
But Barry watches her step closer, not flinching as she scowls at him, and he can't shake the feeling that she's still lying to him. That Lup hangs out with Lucretia so much because they're fooling around, because she enjoys her company more than Barry's. He can't imagine any other scenario than the two of them alone, making out, fucking, laughing about her fat, stupid, trusting husband waiting for her at home with no idea. Just the thought of Lup spending time with anyone but him makes his vision blur at the corners, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest, but Lucretia being the one makes everything so much worse.
Lup is incredible. She's sharp and gorgeous and intensely likeable. She could have literally anyone she wants. And right now, for some reason, it feels like she has.]
How can I know that for sure, huh? You're always over there, always spendin' time with her. Don't tell me y'haven't thought about fuckin' her, 'cause I know that's a fuckin' lie. [He doesn't budge, watching her reactions and movements too close for comfort.] Is that why y'were home late, huh? Couldn't find where y'left your pants?
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Barry doesn't believe her. Doesn't trust her. It's one thing for him to get a little suspicious, to question her, but it's another entirely for Lup to tell him one thing and for him to disregard her words completely. Barry's never done that before, he's always taken her word over his own insecure feelings and intrusive thoughts. Always put his faith in the woman he loves because Lup's never given him a reason to think she'd lie. She may fudge the truth a little on small, non-consequential things, but she's never once stared Barry in the face and lied to him.
And now she's being treated like their half a century together means nothing.
But there's more. Beyond just insinuating she's lying, Barry throws Lucretia in her face and the woman's mouth falls open in quiet shock. The accusation of lying to him hurts, but this feels like she's been stabbed in the back by the person she trusted most. Because he knows Lup can't deny any attraction to the other woman because she's told Barry about it pointedly in the past. And now it seems her complete honesty with him is a punishable offense. He trusts more in his own damn delusions than his own wife looking him in the eye and denying it.
This kind of betrayal rips at Lup's heart, makes her feel weak and vulnerable and more scared than she'd like to admit. When she speaks, it isn't with the usual bluster she has during fights. It's low and firm and cold.]
Fuck off.
[And Barry may have the weight advantage, but Lup slams into him anyway, attempting to shoulder check him on her way further into the house, wanting to just move past him and lock herself in her and Taako's room for awhile.]
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[Nothing she could've said or done would have made him more suspicious than this. Lup flat-out refuses to explain herself, to defend herself, just coldly brushes him off and shoulders roughly past him, storming away from him. It doesn't register to Barry that he's being cruel, unreasonable, completely unfair. It doesn't register that Lup is hurting and it's unequivocally his fault. The only thing that sticks is that Lup is fleeing, not even bothering with an explanation.
Barry's heart drops right through his stomach then, leaving his chest feeling hollow, an aching void. He can't believe this is happening to him. Over half a century together, and he'd never thought Lup could do something like this to him. He can feel his pulse picking up, his eyes prickling with tears, which in turn only makes him more furious. He's been nothing but loving and supportive towards her... and she's throwing that all away for something on the side?
Lup gets past him, making it a couple steps towards the stairs before Barry whirls around, striding after her and grabbing her arm.]
Don't walk away from me! I trusted you, Lup! I-- I trusted you, I love you, I-I don't understand why you'd do this. [His grip on her arm tightens as he tries to pull her closer, his eyes frantic, every line on his face tense with rage and fear.] What did I do? Am I not good enough for you? I don't understand!
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The tears prickling at his eyes when she turns back to him are proof enough of that, even if the rage twisting in his expression is so foreign to her.]
I can't believe you even have to ask. No! I'm not--[just saying it makes Lup's mouth curl in anger, ears flattening as Barry's grip tightens against her arm. She gives it a tug away from him.] I'm not sleeping around behind your back! You're losin' your damn mind.
[The obvious reason for his emotional state doesn't even occur to Lup while she stares him down, sharp eyes trailing along the fear and anger mixed into every line of his face. Something is horribly wrong, but the gods in Hadriel have never played a game like this with her before. They've manipulated what she's seen, but never what she's felt to this extent. It's always been smaller, more subtle things before this.] What d'you want? A friggin' pinky promise I'm not gettin' some on the side? Will that convince you?
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But this? This feels real. This feels immediate and true and Barry is desperate to understand what's happening.
Lup tugs her arm in his grip, fighting his hold, and while it loosens a little, he doesn't let her go. She seems angry. Either defensive or offended. It's distressing that Barry can't tell which it is.] I-- I want to believe you, Lup. I love you so much, you know that, right? Y-You're the most important person in my life, I-- I can't lose you.
[The desperation on his face is plainly obvious, eyes glassy with tears and wild as he searches her angry face for any kind of clue, any sign to tell him his fears are unfounded. She can't be cheating on him, she can't, but his gut is screaming that she has to be.] I got scared. I didn't hear from you and-- a-and I know you're close to Lucretia, so I... I freaked. I can't lose you, Lup, th-the thought of losin' you drives me crazy, I...
[He's shaking.] Y-You swear nothin' happened? Please, Lup, please tell me nothin' happened.
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The hand curled around her arm is trembling in desperation, like Barry might vibrate right out of his skin if she can't give him the exact words he needs to hear. Lup lifts her free hand to rest over his shaking hand.]
Bar, I promise you. I'd never fuck around behind your back. That's not me. [Lup may be rude and abrasive and more than often just wrong, but she's honest. She couldn't look into his eyes and lie to him, especially not this.] You've... You gotta put more faith in me. We've been through too much for you to freak out on me like that.
[There's something about the phrase 'the thought of losin' you drives me crazy' that doesn't sit well with Lup, that curls around her chest and tightens uncomfortably there, but she's too relieved that this conversation is turning around to put more thought into it.]
You trust me, don't you?
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Barry takes a deep, trembling breath, his pulse still going wild, the hand not gripping her arm a little too tight for comfort reaching up to cover hers.] I... I trust you. I trust you, Lup. [He's still angry, furious that she'd done this, that she'd even considered spending the night with someone other than him - cheating or otherwise, he just can't tolerate her doing that. But it's fading, the flush of rage coloring his cheeks draining away, replaced with a cold, pale exhaustion. Barry's never angry like this. Never. He doesn't know how to handle it.]
I-I believe you... I just freaked out, I didn't know where y'were, what y'were doin', wh-who you were with, I-- I was so scared. I love you, Lup. You know that, don't you? [And even though he's calming down, the fury in his voice abating, leaving him hoarse and shaky, Barry's hands still tighten a little around her arm, against her fingers, letting her know he's still not okay with what happened today:]
Don't do that again.
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Now that the tension between them has dipped down, Barry looks so absolutely exhausted in front of Lup, pale and still trembling. He just needs to rest, clearly it's missed Lup's notice just how overworked the man must be. He's been in and out of the lab more often lately, working towards answers that no one else in Hadriel has been able to find. After a good, long nap he'll be back to his normal self, likely tearful and apologizing for this undeserving outburst, begging for her forgiveness.
They'll spend tomorrow together, making up for this whole thing. They're going to be just fine.
But just as Lup's about to slip out of his grip to take his hand and guide him upstairs for that nap, Barry's fingers tighten around her arm again, that deep exhaustion of his falling aside just briefly.]
...Right. [Giving into demands isn't exactly her thing, but Lup's convinced her husband is just feeling extra cranky and needs to rest. When he wakes up, there won't be anything left to hash out. It'll all be out of his system and he'll go back to trusting in her just as he always has.
Lup gives another pull of her arm out of his grasp.] C'mon, Bar. Let's go upstairs.
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Funny how he hasn't apologized yet.
Barry sighs deeply, nodding as Lup complies, seemingly content, his hand finally letting go of Lup's arm as she pulls it away. She won't do that again. She'll listen from now on, stay at home with him. Good. That should be enough to ease his anxiety, his racing mind, knowing she's not going to stray. He'll have to keep watch, of course. But that's for later. For now, he takes Lup's hand in his, gently, letting her lead him towards the stairs.]
Yeah, let's... Yeah. Upstairs. [He squeezes her hand a little.] Uh... How'd y'feel about havin' like... a date-day tomorrow? Just... Just an us-day. Make some dinner, hang out... [Spend the whole day together, know where she is at all times...] It's been a while.
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Barry finally lets her slip away before taking her hand, Lup's gaze stuck on his face again, watching him intently before she's finally tearing her gaze away to lead him up the stairs. It's exactly what she'd been planning, exactly what the two of them need. But how come it feels so off when the words come out of Barry's mouth? Like it's so much less about them spending time together and so much more about some hidden ulterior motive?
She just can't shake the feeling that this all goes so much deeper than she knows. What's with this sudden paranoia?]
Sure. [The house is impossibly quiet, as Lup leads Barry up to the second floor, past Taako and Lup and Angus' rooms, heading up to the third. Maybe it's just the quiet in the house that's throwing everything off. It's never been this calm since her arrival eight months earlier. It feels weird.] Could be fun. We've got the whole place to ourselves. We can sleep in. Get our cuddle on.
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Sure. Sure, that's it.
Lup's plan sounds very nice. Sleeping in, cuddling, Barry would like to do both right now, all night, all of tomorrow, the whole week ahead of them. Just keeping her in his arms, safe in the knowledge that she's where she's supposed to be.]
That sounds nice. Just... [He sighs deeply, something almost like a smile curling at his lips as they trek towards his room. Saying this out loud feels so good, better than it ever has, like something important slotting into place and making everything right with the world:] Just the two of us.
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Tomorrow will be better.
Lup's just gonna drag Barry along to their shared room and try to get him into bed, maybe throw together some comfort food to help drag him out of this weird mood.] Sure thing. The boys are out playin', so you get me all to yourself for a few days.
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Barry follows her to their room, inhaling deeply, breathing in the scent of the two of them. They smell so good together... They smell right. Lup really makes him a better person. No wonder he blew up in her absence. No wonder he'd gone all crazy without her.]
Yeah... I like th'sound of that. We, uh... We can be here playin'.
[Anger is weird. Barry feels almost a little punch-drunk, a little loopy and silly. Even though he'd yelled and been ready for a fight, all Barry can think of right now is how much he wants to kiss her. How much he wants to pull her into bed with him.]
Hey... c'mere. [He tugs at her hand, leading her to their bed.] Come stay with me a bit...
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Alright, you goobus. [And she lets herself be tugged, following after Barry easily. Tomorrow will be better.] Just lay back and chill, I won't go anywhere.
[She's his for the night.]