[For such a skinny woman, Lup manages Drake's weight against her with ease, slender arms wrapping around the man, one hand slipping affectionately into his hair, the other resting at his back. Lup tips forward to press a kiss to Drake's temple before resting her chin against his head, just letting him cling to her, not daring to move.]
Shut up, don't apologize for shit. We know who's to blame and it sure as hell isn't you.
[But what comfort can she even really give the man after what he's lost? Not just Ephemera, but their future, the plans they'd made together. She can't even come close to being what he needs right now.
[ Just not being alone helps. Having someone who understands helps. It might not be exactly the same for Lup, but Ephemera was still her friend. Drake would rather be with her right now than someone else who'd gained and lost a partner from another world. Just because of that connection. ]
This wasn't the plan, you know? Maybe it's fine, but...
[ Does Lup even know? Did Ephemera ever tell her? They'd been close but he didn't know how much they actually talked about this sort of thing. Drake shudders a little, trying to keep his voice steady. ]
If he remembers, it'll be fine. They didn't want to do it. He'll stand down, and it'll be okay.
[Lup's still a little too blindsided by everything, her own emotions still processing. It's not that she doesn't believe Drake, but it's going to take a bit more time for his words to sink in. For Ephemera's disappearance to really hit. But that makes it easier for her to step in and comfort, to wrap the man up and just hold him.
Comfort is not something she's ever been very good at, but god, she wants to do this right.]
I know, and that fuckin' bites, hun.
[Naturally, there's no way that Drake could have known that Lup didn't know. They may have had some deep conversations, some moments of real vulnerability between them, but Lup doesn't know about what happened to the man before he came to Hadriel. It just never came up and she never pried.]
[ Ohhhh shit, this is not going to be fun to explain. He doesn't want to make this worse on Lup, to make her worry as much as he currently is, but. The cat's clawing its way out of the bag at this point. Any attempt to stuff it back in will just get her more upset. Drake stays huddled against Lup's shoulder, forcing his breathing to even out. ]
He uh. When the Door first brought him here, he was in the middle of a fight. So if it sticks people back where they came from, he could be in a lot of trouble. I was supposed to be there to make sure it didn't end up like the others say it did.
Many of her family have been sent home over the course of their stay here in Hadriel, dragged back and forth, herself included. Some for brief stays, where their name doesn't disappear from the phone list, and others where they'd leave for months at a time before resurfacing. And every single time, no one has remembered Hadriel while they've been away. Magnus and Lucretia both left completely and when they'd returned, they'd been entirely different people, coming from other points on the timeline, with no recollection of Hadriel at all.
It just... It doesn't sound very promising for Ephemera.
Lup draws Drake a little closer there.]
Hopefully he'll keep his big mouth shut then, huh. Keep himself outta trouble till we get him back.
[ Drake is well aware that people don't remember. That's been the case for everyone he's known who left and came back, at least, and he doesn't think Ephemera is going to magically be an exception just because that's what he wants. But on the other hand... he's really not in a place where he's even a little capable of facing the facts. He has to believe that Ephemera remembers this place. Remembers Drake, remembers the progress he's made, remembers meeting and becoming friends with Wash, because if he doesn't... he probably doesn't. He's probably just dead. But it's easier to be scared about that as a maybe than it is to accept it as truth.
Lup hugs him closer and keeps up the act, a show of hope that he desperately needs to keep it together right now. Tears burn his eyes again and he stubbornly squeezes them closed. ]
Yeah... I miss him already. I need to tell people, but I keep hoping he'll just walk in like it's some kind of prank.
[ It's not. Ephemera could be cold about some things, could be violent and sometimes had a fucked up sense of humor... Drake knew he wasn't perfect better than anyone. But he'd never been any of that with Drake. If anything it would be one of the gods being a sadist and Ephemera couldn't get back to him, but that kind of thing had never happened before. He was just gone.
For the first time in his life, Drake isn't sure what he's supposed to do without someone. He'd never been dependent on anyone before, and certainly wasn't on Ephemera, but the other man was such a huge part of his life here. They lived together, they worked together, he was the first one Drake considered in everything he did. It's not that he doesn't have other friends, or isn't used to being on his own, but this was different. How's he supposed to go back to being an island, after having had a bridge? His voice breaks again as he admits that he's at a total loss this time. ]
[It's, quite literally, the least she could possibly do for him. Even taking her deep friendship with Ephemera out of the equation, Drake and his beautifully kind heart mean so much to her. If he's grieving like this, Lup will step up to take care of him, however she can. Even if it's through small, barely there gestures like that.
The idea of letting Hadriel know that their important friend is gone makes everything feel so damn final, but this is one of those situations where ignoring the problem will only make it worse for everyone. The last thing Drake needs is calls from others, inquiries into where Ephemera's disappeared to, questions the man might not be strong enough to answer yet. He shouldn't have to deal with that. Ephemera may not be dead, but there's no denying that Drake is in mourning.]
I know, sweetie. I know. [The man breaks, just a little, and Lup is there to keep him together, pressed close and tight, lips pressing against his temple.] I'm not going anywhere, alright? You won't be alone. We can figure this shit out together.
[ Drake nods a little against Lup, grateful for that offer. He's definitely going to take it, let her deal with getting the word to the people who need to know, because he can't handle the questions. Can't have this conversation over and over, at least not right now. And this may well be the closest he's come to crying in front of anyone in years but he blinks the tears back again and takes another shuddering breath. ]
You know, when I told him I'd go back with him, we... I mean we didn't actually decide but he asked about my ma, and what if I could go home alive. It'd be a legal mess, but still easier than getting me implants and dealing with the war on Chorus and. We talked about him going to art school.
[ Even if he can make it to Chorus in time, that possible future is gone. As brief a dream as it was, it had been nice. Now there's no choice. It's Chorus or nothing because no way is he not taking the chance, even with the very real possibility that he'd show up to find his partner is already dead. In which case... he'd just do what Ephemera had wanted to go back for, he supposes? Help them rebuild. It'd just be so hollow. He'd better get in a little deeper with Wash's team, just so he's not totally alone there if the worst case scenario plays out. Which brings the topic back around in his head. ]
Right, uh. The Blues should know. I guess you can just tell Washington and he can handle the rest, but Ephemera was friends with Tucker too. And the Guard, Henry and Nick will figure it out after a few missed patrols but it's better if they can cover those shifts in advance. And Kyna, he got pretty close with Kyna. Lance, but... I'll tell Lance myself, actually.
[For once, Lup really doesn't know what to say to that.
In a perfect world, Drake and Ephemera would get that ending exactly, the chance for a peaceful life together surrounded by warmth and endless love, the soldier able to explore other interests outside of combat, able to find and hold onto a family. Lup would give anything for that possibility for them, for these two men that she loves, who found each other through impossible means.
But Drake's right, as sad as it seems. That dream is dead and he has every right to mourn it.]
Sure, I can handle that, hun. I'll get word out. [And tell folks to leave Drake alone about it. Not to leave him alone, not when he needs friends around, but just to not harass him over his loss. To visit as friends who care, not to just show up and express their pity for him.]
I'll take care of it all for you. You don't need to worry about a thing.
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no subject
Shut up, don't apologize for shit. We know who's to blame and it sure as hell isn't you.
[But what comfort can she even really give the man after what he's lost? Not just Ephemera, but their future, the plans they'd made together. She can't even come close to being what he needs right now.
Lup's grip around Drake tightens anyway.]
I've got you, babe. Not goin' anywhere. Promise.
no subject
This wasn't the plan, you know? Maybe it's fine, but...
[ Does Lup even know? Did Ephemera ever tell her? They'd been close but he didn't know how much they actually talked about this sort of thing. Drake shudders a little, trying to keep his voice steady. ]
If he remembers, it'll be fine. They didn't want to do it. He'll stand down, and it'll be okay.
no subject
Comfort is not something she's ever been very good at, but god, she wants to do this right.]
I know, and that fuckin' bites, hun.
[Naturally, there's no way that Drake could have known that Lup didn't know. They may have had some deep conversations, some moments of real vulnerability between them, but Lup doesn't know about what happened to the man before he came to Hadriel. It just never came up and she never pried.]
...What do ya mean he'll stand down? To what?
no subject
He uh. When the Door first brought him here, he was in the middle of a fight. So if it sticks people back where they came from, he could be in a lot of trouble. I was supposed to be there to make sure it didn't end up like the others say it did.
no subject
Many of her family have been sent home over the course of their stay here in Hadriel, dragged back and forth, herself included. Some for brief stays, where their name doesn't disappear from the phone list, and others where they'd leave for months at a time before resurfacing. And every single time, no one has remembered Hadriel while they've been away. Magnus and Lucretia both left completely and when they'd returned, they'd been entirely different people, coming from other points on the timeline, with no recollection of Hadriel at all.
It just... It doesn't sound very promising for Ephemera.
Lup draws Drake a little closer there.]
Hopefully he'll keep his big mouth shut then, huh. Keep himself outta trouble till we get him back.
no subject
Lup hugs him closer and keeps up the act, a show of hope that he desperately needs to keep it together right now. Tears burn his eyes again and he stubbornly squeezes them closed. ]
Yeah... I miss him already. I need to tell people, but I keep hoping he'll just walk in like it's some kind of prank.
[ It's not. Ephemera could be cold about some things, could be violent and sometimes had a fucked up sense of humor... Drake knew he wasn't perfect better than anyone. But he'd never been any of that with Drake. If anything it would be one of the gods being a sadist and Ephemera couldn't get back to him, but that kind of thing had never happened before. He was just gone.
For the first time in his life, Drake isn't sure what he's supposed to do without someone. He'd never been dependent on anyone before, and certainly wasn't on Ephemera, but the other man was such a huge part of his life here. They lived together, they worked together, he was the first one Drake considered in everything he did. It's not that he doesn't have other friends, or isn't used to being on his own, but this was different. How's he supposed to go back to being an island, after having had a bridge? His voice breaks again as he admits that he's at a total loss this time. ]
Lup, I don't know what what I'm gonna do.
no subject
[It's, quite literally, the least she could possibly do for him. Even taking her deep friendship with Ephemera out of the equation, Drake and his beautifully kind heart mean so much to her. If he's grieving like this, Lup will step up to take care of him, however she can. Even if it's through small, barely there gestures like that.
The idea of letting Hadriel know that their important friend is gone makes everything feel so damn final, but this is one of those situations where ignoring the problem will only make it worse for everyone. The last thing Drake needs is calls from others, inquiries into where Ephemera's disappeared to, questions the man might not be strong enough to answer yet. He shouldn't have to deal with that. Ephemera may not be dead, but there's no denying that Drake is in mourning.]
I know, sweetie. I know. [The man breaks, just a little, and Lup is there to keep him together, pressed close and tight, lips pressing against his temple.] I'm not going anywhere, alright? You won't be alone. We can figure this shit out together.
[One day at a time.]
no subject
You know, when I told him I'd go back with him, we... I mean we didn't actually decide but he asked about my ma, and what if I could go home alive. It'd be a legal mess, but still easier than getting me implants and dealing with the war on Chorus and. We talked about him going to art school.
[ Even if he can make it to Chorus in time, that possible future is gone. As brief a dream as it was, it had been nice. Now there's no choice. It's Chorus or nothing because no way is he not taking the chance, even with the very real possibility that he'd show up to find his partner is already dead. In which case... he'd just do what Ephemera had wanted to go back for, he supposes? Help them rebuild. It'd just be so hollow. He'd better get in a little deeper with Wash's team, just so he's not totally alone there if the worst case scenario plays out. Which brings the topic back around in his head. ]
Right, uh. The Blues should know. I guess you can just tell Washington and he can handle the rest, but Ephemera was friends with Tucker too. And the Guard, Henry and Nick will figure it out after a few missed patrols but it's better if they can cover those shifts in advance. And Kyna, he got pretty close with Kyna. Lance, but... I'll tell Lance myself, actually.
no subject
In a perfect world, Drake and Ephemera would get that ending exactly, the chance for a peaceful life together surrounded by warmth and endless love, the soldier able to explore other interests outside of combat, able to find and hold onto a family. Lup would give anything for that possibility for them, for these two men that she loves, who found each other through impossible means.
But Drake's right, as sad as it seems. That dream is dead and he has every right to mourn it.]
Sure, I can handle that, hun. I'll get word out. [And tell folks to leave Drake alone about it. Not to leave him alone, not when he needs friends around, but just to not harass him over his loss. To visit as friends who care, not to just show up and express their pity for him.]
I'll take care of it all for you. You don't need to worry about a thing.