γThe shit she's taught him... But he cannot find him either. He's not gonna fall into despair yet, he's had enough of that last week on top of kind of fading himself...γ
[for once, lup doesn't feel like being social. not because she doesn't want to see her friends, but more like she feels they will know something is wrong. she feels incomplete still, not fully recovered from death. like somethings missing.
γShe's not alone in this, he's been dealing with ... a thing. A tear in his very soul that makes him feel like he's dying, but hey, he's alive right now and that's what matters, he needs to see her, see she's fine.γ
Lup arrives early for once, hair messy around herself and dressed dow, in leggings and a long sleeved sweater. Even beneath the blazing suns, she still feels cold. While she waits for Atem, Lup wanders aimlessly around the trees.]
γHe hurries, as much as he can in this state, feeling nauseous all the time is not exactly a good thing or anything but, he's not going to complain. When he finally gets there, it's easy to see he might have gotten some kind of stomach bug or something, he's a little paler than usual and a bit sweaty, but the smile he gives her is just as bright as ever, despite of those circles under his eyes.
He halts when he gets near, just to look at her from head to toes. She seems... fine. Nothing missing from his (small) perspective.γ
Hey!
γHe hesitates, but damn, he wants to throw himself at her again, it is easier to fight the impulse now that he has his body back, however.γΒ
I thought you... γNo, why would she be mad at him?γ Are you okay?
[Lup smiles in return, though it's not quite her usual brightness. But her attention is quickly drawn to her friend's paleness, the sweat at his brow.]
Think I should be asking you that. [She steps closer, raising a hand to press the back of it against Atem's forehead.] Not feelin' well? Look a little ghosty.
[She means pale, not like, an actual ghost. Like they both were during the event.]
γHe should probably tell her what went down, but he doesn't want to worry her at all.γ
I'll be fine.
γ Β―\_(γ)_/Β― He takes a little step back with a chuckle as he catches her hand β alright, good, she's thereΒ β because ew, Lup, don't get your hand all sweaty! They are so bad at this...γ
You... Um, took your time.
γReally bad at this, but you know what, he keeps holding her hand, his little fingers around a couple of hers.γ
[The touch makes her gasp, not because it hurts in any sense of the word, but because she can feel it. It takes a little getting used to. But if anyone would understand that, it's Atem.
He would get exactly where she was coming from.]
Yeah.
[a beat. They are awful with this. But Atem's hand curls almost affectionately around hers and Lup gives a too honest answer.]
I was a little dead the last week. Made texting real hard.
γAtem tilts his head a little at her reply, being a Lich, she... was dead in a way, right? But somehow that doesn't sound like it when she says it. He frowns slightly, as if he were trying to see past beyond that answer. And when it hits him, the change is gradual β she had been able to text him when she was Lich... he remembers. His eyes widen slowly, his shoulders lift in a very slow flinch and he remains that way, as if he were bracing himself, pretty much like a cat which hair would be standing on edge. His grip around her fingers gets tighter and she might be able to feel his hand trembling a little bit.γ
You-- how?
γHow do you kill someone that's already dead? A godkiller, maybe?
[Atem's grip around her fingers tightens, trembling, and Lup at least has the sense to look apologetic. Even if it isn't her fault, even if every blame imaginable falls upon the gods of this place, it's difficult for the guilt to keep from nagging at her, from sitting like a weight against her chest, suffocating her.
Lup's gaze drops. Knowing her as well as he does, that should say it all.]
I, uh... Shit went bad sometime after we saw each other.
[Maybe it's strange that she feels like he's going to judge her, going to blame her, after all of the discussion of liches this and that. He's going to think she's too weak to carry the burden of her magic'd soul, that she should have known better than to ever take the path she did. Even if it isn't her fault, he's still going to tell her it is.]
I unstablized. Attacked some folks. Had to be put down.
[God, just don't ask why she unstablized. That's a can of worms Lup hasn't even begun to delve into yet.]
γUnstabilized. Sounds like what happened to Ravine too, suddenly becoming a demon, no longer aware of herself. What is there to say about it? That all people like them (like him) were prone to lose it one day? He cannot say he hasn't been close to that before, being but a shadow of his former self. It could have been anything really, and it's a good thing Atem doesn't want to know what happened, it is not relevant anymore, as it shouldn't be the fact that she died (even if she was dead) but that she's back.
It's harder than it sounds to focus on that alone, however. It clearly seems to affect the teen in some way, but he swallows, hard, he then lowers his head, not looking at her, bringing a hand to his forehead as he lets out a dry chuckle.Β He's the worst.γ
And here I thought you were avoiding me... I'm-- I'm glad you're back, then. γHe swallows again, trying to force a smile, a smirk, just anything that doesn't make this such a sad conversation. He can't.γ I guess I never told you you were banned from dying too. My fault.
γTwice now... thrice, have the friends he believed as untouchable, have all fell from the pedestal Atem put them on and nearly broke into little pieces. Even them could get hurt, they could die, and he could do nothing to help them.γ
[To be perfectly fair, they are both the worst. Absolutely.]
Avoiding you? Lame. Why would you ever think that, nerd? [Of all the people in this place, she's had so few reasons to ever run from Atem. Has she made him think otherwise? That's something that might nag at the elf later when she thinks over this conversation.
But for now, there's too much else to think about, too much else to take in. She gives his hand a small squeeze at forced smile, Lup's own grin absent while she watches him. She wishes she were better at this.]
Y'know, if I'd known that, the fear of disappointing you woulda kept me alive for sure. I'll have to keep that in mind for next time, though. No dying. Strictly forbidden. The king says so.
[And then, just a touch more sincere, an unspoken apology caught in the woman's throat.] It won't happen again.
γHe shrugs it off, though, trying not to give it that much thought, instead he focuses on her touch and her voice, it's good to know that even for someone like her, a lich, as they call them, there is some hope from not completely disappearing. He lets out a little breathed laugh. That much he can do.γ
Idiot...
γIt's said with all the affection he can pull off, without looking up at her, he approaches a little more and leans his forehead on her upper arm.γ
[Without even thinking, Lup's arm winds around his shoulders, keeping him close.]
I know. [And she does. The guilt is still there, lingering in the back of her mind, but it's not as all-consuming as it would be if she knew all of this was because of something she'd done, if somehow she'd become what she had due to her own mistakes. But they all know none of this was her fault. Once again, all of it could be pinned on the shitheads in charge.
So she repeats herself, maybe needing to hear herself say she isn't to blame once more.]
... I know. It'll be fine. We all made it through. I've got some apologies to get out, but shit'll be fine.
[And after a moment, just a touch more quietly.] You won't lose me that easy, alright?
γHe freezes in her embrace, not at it but at what she says. Is that why this is affecting him more than he wishes it did? Is he afraid of losing her? He hadn't thought of it that way. He never thought he'd allow himself to attach to anyone again.
At least she knows it might happen anyway. That keeps it real.
Just a moment passes before he raises his arms around her, might as well give in for a little moment. He's tired of losing people.γ
[It's rare for Lup to fall into silence, but she does now, holding Atem near, letting her chin rest against his head, her skinny arms wound tightly around his shoulders.
There's no much more she could say, so many more reassurances to give, so many more jokes to throw out and try to diffuse the situation, but for some reason the silence fits. It feels natural, comfortable. And it's so rare for Lup to ever feel comfortable in silence with anyone.
She lets him hang on for as long as he needs, her ears dipped down so low they brush her own shoulders, one of her hands rubbing soothing circles against the young man's back. They're going to be fine.]
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text. 1/?
text.
hey lup?
you came back too... didnt you?
text. /end
lup?
text me when youre done doing barry ok?
γThe shit she's taught him... But he cannot find him either. He's not gonna fall into despair yet, he's had enough of that last week on top of kind of fading himself...γ
dont take too long
γHe doesn't know how long he has.γ
text; May 25th
sorry missed ur text
sup little man?
text.
no subject
natch
why? thinking of popping by?
no subject
can i?
no subject
but atem is. well. atem.]
k where u wanna meet?
no subject
the orchard?
i need supplies i guess
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[And she keeps her promise.
Lup arrives early for once, hair messy around herself and dressed dow, in leggings and a long sleeved sweater. Even beneath the blazing suns, she still feels cold. While she waits for Atem, Lup wanders aimlessly around the trees.]
no subject
He halts when he gets near, just to look at her from head to toes. She seems... fine. Nothing missing from his (small) perspective.γ
Hey!
γHe hesitates, but damn, he wants to throw himself at her again, it is easier to fight the impulse now that he has his body back, however.γΒ
I thought you... γNo, why would she be mad at him?γ Are you okay?
no subject
Think I should be asking you that. [She steps closer, raising a hand to press the back of it against Atem's forehead.] Not feelin' well? Look a little ghosty.
[She means pale, not like, an actual ghost. Like they both were during the event.]
no subject
I'll be fine.
γ Β―\_(γ)_/Β― He takes a little step back with a chuckle as he catches her hand β alright, good, she's thereΒ β because ew, Lup, don't get your hand all sweaty! They are so bad at this...γ
You... Um, took your time.
γReally bad at this, but you know what, he keeps holding her hand, his little fingers around a couple of hers.γ
no subject
He would get exactly where she was coming from.]
Yeah.
[a beat. They are awful with this. But Atem's hand curls almost affectionately around hers and Lup gives a too honest answer.]
I was a little dead the last week. Made texting real hard.
no subject
You-- how?
γHow do you kill someone that's already dead? A godkiller, maybe?
No, that's not the right questionγ
Why?
no subject
Lup's gaze drops. Knowing her as well as he does, that should say it all.]
I, uh... Shit went bad sometime after we saw each other.
[Maybe it's strange that she feels like he's going to judge her, going to blame her, after all of the discussion of liches this and that. He's going to think she's too weak to carry the burden of her magic'd soul, that she should have known better than to ever take the path she did. Even if it isn't her fault, he's still going to tell her it is.]
I unstablized. Attacked some folks. Had to be put down.
[God, just don't ask why she unstablized. That's a can of worms Lup hasn't even begun to delve into yet.]
no subject
It's harder than it sounds to focus on that alone, however. It clearly seems to affect the teen in some way, but he swallows, hard, he then lowers his head, not looking at her, bringing a hand to his forehead as he lets out a dry chuckle.Β He's the worst.γ
And here I thought you were avoiding me... I'm-- I'm glad you're back, then. γHe swallows again, trying to force a smile, a smirk, just anything that doesn't make this such a sad conversation. He can't.γ I guess I never told you you were banned from dying too. My fault.
γTwice now... thrice, have the friends he believed as untouchable, have all fell from the pedestal Atem put them on and nearly broke into little pieces. Even them could get hurt, they could die, and he could do nothing to help them.γ
no subject
Avoiding you? Lame. Why would you ever think that, nerd? [Of all the people in this place, she's had so few reasons to ever run from Atem. Has she made him think otherwise? That's something that might nag at the elf later when she thinks over this conversation.
But for now, there's too much else to think about, too much else to take in. She gives his hand a small squeeze at forced smile, Lup's own grin absent while she watches him. She wishes she were better at this.]
Y'know, if I'd known that, the fear of disappointing you woulda kept me alive for sure. I'll have to keep that in mind for next time, though. No dying. Strictly forbidden. The king says so.
[And then, just a touch more sincere, an unspoken apology caught in the woman's throat.] It won't happen again.
no subject
γHe shrugs it off, though, trying not to give it that much thought, instead he focuses on her touch and her voice, it's good to know that even for someone like her, a lich, as they call them, there is some hope from not completely disappearing. He lets out a little breathed laugh. That much he can do.γ
Idiot...
γIt's said with all the affection he can pull off, without looking up at her, he approaches a little more and leans his forehead on her upper arm.γ
It wasn't your fault.
no subject
I know. [And she does. The guilt is still there, lingering in the back of her mind, but it's not as all-consuming as it would be if she knew all of this was because of something she'd done, if somehow she'd become what she had due to her own mistakes. But they all know none of this was her fault. Once again, all of it could be pinned on the shitheads in charge.
So she repeats herself, maybe needing to hear herself say she isn't to blame once more.]
... I know. It'll be fine. We all made it through. I've got some apologies to get out, but shit'll be fine.
[And after a moment, just a touch more quietly.] You won't lose me that easy, alright?
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At least she knows it might happen anyway. That keeps it real.
Just a moment passes before he raises his arms around her, might as well give in for a little moment. He's tired of losing people.γ
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There's no much more she could say, so many more reassurances to give, so many more jokes to throw out and try to diffuse the situation, but for some reason the silence fits. It feels natural, comfortable. And it's so rare for Lup to ever feel comfortable in silence with anyone.
She lets him hang on for as long as he needs, her ears dipped down so low they brush her own shoulders, one of her hands rubbing soothing circles against the young man's back. They're going to be fine.]