oh man that's super hard. i mean, on the one hand, i'm definitely a bear in every sense of the word. on the other can you imagine me as a bull mastiff?? fuuuck. that'd be so good. okay, i got it. bear body, dog head and tail, hyena spots, kangaroo muscles, shark's penis.
[...Is she losing coolness points for not having gone? Shit. FIX THIS.]
DUH OF COURSE I HAVE im just fucking with you im p much a pro at this point. can juggle em in the air with magic too. p flipping sweet. you should see it. so yeah. ive seen them. sharks and their double dicks. yep. old news by now honestly
[Oh my god, like, he's definitely telling the truth about shark penises right now, but also he's never actually gone shark fishing. He's just seen them in fish markets. And the way she's doubling back on her words makes it so obvious she's just trying to be cool.
It's pretty cute, not gonna lie. But that doesn't mean he's not gonna come for her.]
oh yeah? when's the last time you went shark fishing?
no pet shark for magnus???? i should've mentioned i'm in the market for that pet you get after your last pet disappears forever so you feel less awful and lonely all the time. my goldfish ran away. or i ran away from him? whatever, details aren't important.
shit at least your goldfish ran away instead of getting eaten by something. or someONE. but now that i know you're in the market, i'll bring you back a nice double-dicked shark next time i'm fishing. yolo, right?
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that's a valid point.
i've never met a politician i've liked.
you'd probably be the first??
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natch.
what about you? what's your inner beast?
bear? dog? giant bear body with a tiny dog head?
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i mean, on the one hand, i'm definitely a bear in every sense of the word.
on the other can you imagine me as a bull mastiff?? fuuuck. that'd be so good.
okay, i got it.
bear body, dog head and tail, hyena spots, kangaroo muscles, shark's penis.
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did you actually see that on fantasy animal planet or did you just dream it cause there's no fucking way dude.
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DUH OF COURSE I HAVE im just fucking with you
im p much a pro at this point. can juggle em in the air with magic too. p flipping sweet. you should see it.
so yeah. ive seen them. sharks and their double dicks. yep. old news by now honestly
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It's pretty cute, not gonna lie. But that doesn't mean he's not gonna come for her.]
oh yeah? when's the last time you went shark fishing?
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[wait SHIT]
i found a TON in the river. you know, fresh water sharks. just ripe for the fishin
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so
who ate those?
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all of the sharks i caught were too small and had to be put back in the river
sorry brah, it's the law.
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i should've mentioned i'm in the market for that pet you get after your last pet disappears forever so you feel less awful and lonely all the time.
my goldfish ran away.
or i ran away from him?
whatever, details aren't important.
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at least your goldfish ran away instead of getting eaten by something.
or someONE.
but now that i know you're in the market, i'll bring you back a nice double-dicked shark next time i'm fishing.
yolo, right?
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the pet shark can have a barnacle vagina. either one is fine.
also don't even joke about steven dying. the pain is too raw.
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i'll keep an eye out for you.
soooooo
any other rando questions running thru your head or can i get back to sleep?
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[there is absolutely no way she won't be kept up all night thinking about this now]
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